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Notes
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# @(#)Notes 8.1 (Berkeley) 5/31/93
Warning:
The fortunes contained in the fortune database have been collected
haphazardly from a cacophony of sources, in number so huge it
boggles the mind. It is impossible to do any meaningful quality
control on attributions, or lack thereof, or exactness of the quote.
Since this database is not used for profit, and since entire works
are not published, it falls under fair use, as we understand it.
However, if any half-assed idiot decides to make a profit off of
this, they will need to double check it all, and nobody not involved
of such an effort makes any warranty that anything in the database
bears any relation to the real world of literature, law, or other
bizzarrity.
==> GENERAL INFORMATION
By default, fortune retrieves its fortune files from the directory
/usr/local/bin/fortunes. A fortune file has two parts: the source file
(which contains the fortunes themselves) and the data file which describes
the fortunes. The data fil always has the same name as the fortune file
with the string ".dat" concatenated, i.e. "fort" is the standard fortune
database, and "fort.dat" is the data file which describes it. See
strfile(8) for more information on creating the data files.
Fortunes are split into potentially offensive and not potentially
offensive parts. The offensive version of a file has the same name as the
non-offensive version with "-o" concatenated, i.e. "fort" is the standard
fortune database, and "fort-o" is the standard offensive database. The
fortune program automatically assumes that any file with a name ending in
"-o" is potentially offensive, and should therefore only be displayed if
explicitly requested, either with the -o option or by specifying a file name
on the command line.
Potentially offensive fortune files should NEVER be maintained in
clear text on the system. They are rotated (see caesar(6)) 13 positions.
To create a new, potentially offensive database, use caesar to rotate it,
and then create its data file with the -x option to strfile(8). The fortune
program automatically decrypts the text when it prints entries from such
databases.
Anything which would not make it onto network prime time programming
(or which would only be broadcast if some discredited kind of guy said it)
MUST be in the potentially offensive database. Fortunes containing any
explicit language (see George Carlin's recent updated list) MUST be in the
potentially offensive database. Political and religious opinions are often
sequestered in the potentially offensive section as well. Anything which
assumes as a world view blatantly racist, mysogynist (sexist), or homophobic
ideas should not be in either, since they are not really funny unless *you*
are racist, mysogynist, or homophobic.
The point of this is that people have should have a reasonable
expectation that, should they just run "fortune", they will not be offended.
We know that some people take offense at anything, but normal people do have
opinions, too, and have a right not to have their sensibilities offended by
a program which is supposed to be entertaining. People who run "fortune
-o" or "fortune -a" are saying, in effect, that they are willing to have
their sensibilities tweaked. However, they should not have their personal
worth seriously (i.e., not in jest) assaulted. Jokes which depend for their
humor on racist, mysogynist, or homophobic stereotypes *do* seriously
assault individual personal worth, and in an general entertainment medium
we should be able to get by without it.
==> FORMATTING
This file describes the format for fortunes in the database. This
is done in detail to make it easier to keep track of things. Any rule given
here may be broken to make a better joke.
[All examples are indented by one tab stop -- KCRCA]
Numbers should be given in parentheses, e.g.,
(1) Everything depends.
(2) Nothing is always.
(3) Everything is sometimes.
Attributions are two tab stops, followed by two hyphens, followed by a
space, followed by the attribution, and are *not* preceded by blank
lines. Book, journal, movie, and all other titles are in quotes, e.g.,
$100 invested at 7% interest for 100 years will become $100,000, at
which time it will be worth absolutely nothing.
-- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
Attributions which do not fit on one (72 char) line should be continued
on a line which lines up below the first text of the attribution, e.g.,
-- A very long attribution which might not fit on one
line, "Ken Arnold's Stupid Sayings"
Single paragraph fortunes are in left justified (non-indented) paragraphs
unless they fall into another category listed below (see example above).
Longer fortunes should also be in left justified paragraphs, but if this
makes it too long, try indented paragraphs, with indentations of either one
tab stop or 5 chars. Indentations of less than 5 are too hard to read.
Laws have the title left justified and capitalized, followed by a colon,
with all the text of the law itself indented one tab stop, initially
capitalized, e.g.,
A Law of Computer Programming:
Make it possible for programmers to write in English and
you will find the programmers cannot write in English.
Limericks are indented as follows, all lines capitalized:
A computer, to print out a fact,
Will divide, multiply, and subtract.
But this output can be
No more than debris,
If the input was short of exact.
Accents precede the letter they are over, e.g., "`^He" for e with a grave
accent. Underlining is done on a word-by-word basis, with the underlines
preceding the word, e.g., "__^H^Hhi ____^H^H^H^Hthere".
No fortune should run beyond 72 characters on a single line without good
justification (er, no pun intended). And no right margin justification,
either. Sorry. For BSD people, there is a program called "fmt" which can
make this kind of formatting easier.
Definitions are given with the word or phrase left justified, followed by
the part of speech (if appropriate) and a colon. The definition starts
indented by one tab stop, with subsequent lines left justified, e.g.,
Afternoon, n.:
That part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted
the morning.
Quotes are sometimes put around statements which are funnier or make more
sense if they are understood as being spoken, rather than written,
communication, e.g.,
"All my friends and I are crazy. That's the only thing that
keeps us sane."
Ellipses are always surrounded by spaces, except when next to punctuation,
and are three dots long.
"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
-- Mark Twain
Human initials always have spaces after the periods, e.g, "P. T. Barnum",
not "P.T. Barnum". However, "P.T.A.", not "P. T. A.".
All fortunes should be attributed, but if and only if they are original with
somebody. Many people have said things that are folk sayings (i.e., are
common among the folk (i.e., us common slobs)). There is nothing wrong with
this, of course, but such statements should not be attributed to individuals
who did not invent them.
Horoscopes should have the sign indented by one tab stop, followed by the
dates of the sign, with the text left justified below it, e.g.,
AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You
lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be
careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over
and over again. People think you are stupid.
Single quotes should not be used except as quotes within quotes. Not even
single quotes masquerading as double quotes are to be used, e.g., don't say
``hi there'' or `hi there' or 'hi there', but "hi there". However, you
*can* say "I said, `hi there'".
A long poem or song can be ordered as follows in order to make it fit on a
screen (fortunes should be 19 lines or less if at all possible) (numbers
here are stanza numbers):
11111111111111111111
11111111111111111111
11111111111111111111 22222222222222222222
11111111111111111111 22222222222222222222
22222222222222222222
33333333333333333333 22222222222222222222
33333333333333333333
33333333333333333333 44444444444444444444
33333333333333333333 44444444444444444444
44444444444444444444
44444444444444444444