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woody.allen.md

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Woody Allen quotes

"I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

  1. "I wouldn't say I've been to Hell and back, but I have been to Hell."

  2. "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."

  3. "I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference."

  4. "I'm not against religion or prayer, but I think we should keep them separate from science. If they start making medical breakthroughs through prayer, then I'll reconsider."

  5. "I'm not sure what the future holds, but I know it will be something amazing."

  6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."

  7. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

Based on the search results, here are some of the funniest quotes from Woody Allen:

  1. "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. I plan to live forever." [0]

  2. "I'm not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens." [0]

  3. "If my film makes one more person miserable, I'll feel I've done my job." [0]

  4. "Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex." [2]

  5. "I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot." [2]

  6. "The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you." [2]

  7. "There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, 'Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.' The other one says, 'Yeah, I know; and such small portions.' Well, that's essentially how I feel about life." [2]

  8. "I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics." [2]

  9. "I don't know enough to be incompetent." [2]